Tuesday, December 23, 2008

bombed with cincalok..

folks! i got a bottle of cincalok exploded right in my face last night.

though i m from malacca, i never had a 'thing' for cincalok. heck! i never had a 'thing' for malacca, never spoke the 'ulau belingkau atas pagau' malacca dialect, quite alien 2 some of the things that malaccan r into.

i called lubok cina hometown, a rural town/mukim that is divided between malacca n nogori sembilan n i m from the malacca neck of the woods. 4 us folks here as far as culture, dialect n taste bud goes we r more identified with nogori.

i look at malacca as just a small state run by a so-so chief minister with a penchant for hindustani film, that is in the running 4 a damn serious job. ambitious guy eh? i sit on a snake if he wins. i never had a 'thing' 4 the ruins n the not so spectacular history, from my point of view, that they r presenting 2 tourists. they got no beaches, nature/eco or other destinations of note that gets my attention.

the mediocre beach not 2 far away from my kampung r now littered with severed pig heads n innards. damned those motherf$%kers! they better not get caught, i hate 2 think what will happen 2 them if they do.

anyway, i was on an errand 2 get some groceries at my neighborhood grocery shop when i walked past the shelf where they put the cincalok. i thot it would b good eating especially when garnish with thinly slice shallots, cut cili api n a dash of freshly cut lime juice so i bought a bottle. i said i never had a 'thing' for cincalok, i never said it didn't taste good.

the thot got me drooling n got me encouraged 2 cook 4 dinner an equally good eating beef 'masak lomak cili api', my specialty, as the main dish 2 go with the appetizing cincalok. my wife jumped with joy she didn't have 2 cook. i do that for her from time 2 time especially when i m guilty of something.

cooking's done, table's set, hey! its chow time, except for a small matter of the cincalok. it came in a small bottle with a plastic screw-on cover. i took off the plastic cover n underneath found another cover but this one a crown metal cap, similar 2 the one used on bottled drinks of not 2 long ago, u got 2 use an opener 4 this.

i held the bottle firmly on the table in my kitchen in one hand, my other hand was yanking off the metal cap from the bottle with an opener, my face lowered close 2 the area of operation, when i heard a hissing sound n saw foams starts forming around metal cap, still intact to the bottle n drips of cincalok juice overflowing down the bottle.

b4 i can finished saying cincalok, i heard a loud POP! the metal cap flew off n hit my left cheek, cincalok juice gushed out of the bottle into my face n caused a stinging sensation in my eyes. my hair, face n chest were splattered with cincalok, so were the immediate vicinity of my kitchen including the ceiling. after a quick check on my person, i figure i m ok, except my eyes stings a bit.

the rest of the clan who had just started digging in at the dining area, stopped n rushed towards me not sure whether 2 b alarmed or roll on the floor n laughed their asses off, looking at me covered all over with cincalok. i had a hard time getting the cincalok off my hair n eyes, n the clan had a hard time cleaning up the kitchen.

that thing is dangerous folks, never buy a cincalok with a metal cap on. u got to take off the plastic screw-on cover to check whether the culprit is underneath. the cincalok is from oxl industries sdn bhd, air tawar perak.

they figure they keep the cincalok fresh n lengthen the shelf life with the metal cap on but instead they built a f$%king bomb n its probably sitting on the shelf of most grocery shops all over the country.

man..!! dinner last night was literally a blast.


  1. I laughed & at the same time I felt sorry too..your eyes must have hurt bad.

    I always thought local products never paid much attention on packaging & even sell by dates.

    Now now..what were you guilty of that you cooked? Ha ha..

  2. my kucing berak on one of her best dress, she still didn't realise its in the laundry

  3. tutup botol tu kena bukak perlahan-lahan, bagi keluar gas tu dulu, baru tak meletup. I always have a bottle of cincalok in my fridge together with a bottle of budu....